You see, life likes to test us. Sometimes it takes a unit test in relationship and at other time it takes a final exam in our career and in our professional life. Life keeps testing us till we learn all the lessons. We need to learn to pass with flying colors. Sometimes this test seems too harsh or too difficult for us and we get upset. When we are upset, our thoughts and actions are bound to be negative. Such actions will create results that will again upset us and the cycle will continue. So let me tell you how we can calm ourselves when we are upset.
Rule of Five
Now this is very simple but extremely powerful technique. This technique is to reset yourself when you are upset. You see, whenever you are upset, ask yourself whether what you are upset about will still be important to you in five minutes, five hours, five days, five weeks, five months and five years from now.
For instance, if you are upset that your boss has been unkind, pause for a little while and ask yourself whether your boss’s unkindness is going to affect you or not. With the rule of five, you will realize how impermanent most things are and slowly you will realize how things always flow and change and then you will ask yourself, why should I get upset for such changing things? This is how you will train your mind with the rule of five.
Read, https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-calm-down
If you are still agitated, even after using the rule of five method, if your mind is still poking and pricking you, then you will need something which is a little more grounding. So in these situations, write it down. Yes, remember how during childhood you didn’t understand something and your mother made you write slowly five times or 10 times. Same we are going to use the same idea over here.
See the act of writing is very powerful. It takes feelings and emotions out of your heart and put it out on the paper. The feeling and emotions which are all jumbled become clear when you write it down. So whenever you are upset, see if you can take five minutes alone, find a comfortable space, take a deep breath and just simply begin writing whatever comes to your mind. Don’t edit. Don’t filter. Just let it all go.
As you write more and more, you will physically feel very lighter as though someone has lifted your emotions and burden and tell me anyone who feels light can be upset. Now if these two weapons don’t work and you are still upset, then don’t lose heart. I have something even better for you. The sigh of relief technique for this. Find some place where you can be alone. If you can’t, then do this at your workplace. Sit upright and take one deep grounding breath.
Next notice how long your normal exhalation is. Now be careful. You are not supposed to stretch long to make your exhalation longer. All you have to do is to breathe normally as you breathe every time. But when you exhale, just notice how long it is. See when we exhale, we are actually releasing stale breath out from your body. With this exhalation, think that you are releasing all those things for which you were upset.
See it’s like when you are trying to thread a needle, when you are trying hard to put the thread in, notice how tense and rigid you will be. But once the thread goes in, there is a sigh of relief and you feel very much relaxed. Yes or no? We are working with the same idea. When you exhale, when you have a sigh of relief, automatically you will reset and become calm.
Read, https://beinghealthyyy.com/mental-health-am-i-depressed-or-just-sad/
So always leave a sigh of relief when you are upset. You will be refreshed automatically. And finally, remember life may take many tests, but it is never against you. It only asks those questions that make you better. And the syllabus is full of gifts and opportunities. So why be upset when life is completely on your side always?